Tag Archives: glioblastoma

local news

My journey is complete

Drum roll, please, for I am about to make an announcement.

The journey through darkness I have written about extensively on this blog since I lost my lovely bride, Kathy Anne, to cancer has for all intents reached its end.

So much has happened to my family and me since the worst day of our lives came crashing down on us. We lost the pillar of our family to glioblastoma, an aggressive form of brain cancer. She lost her valiant battle and left her family and friends in a profound state of grief.

I commenced my return back from the darkness by writing about that journey on High Plains Blogger. You know what? It helped me beyond measure. I found it within myself to share my grief with the whole world. The process filled me with hope that I could get through this period.

And I have done so!

I have told you about how I searched for light at the end of this journey. I am happy to report that the light on this day is far brighter than I ever imagined it would be immediately after Feb. 3, 2023 … which I have labeled as the worst day of my life.

Every one of those who comprise my worldwide network of friends and acquaintances have said the same thing: The pain never will go away. It will return without warning. You, though, will learn to manage it. You know what? They all were right! Here is a compilation of the entries I posted on High Plains Blogger.

Kathy Anne | Search Results | High Plains Blogger

I have learned that the overarching lesson in dealing with grief is to not let it consume me. It hasn’t. I am moving on with my life. Yes, I have some aspects of that new life to work on … but I can do so with a clear head and a heart that is not nearly as damaged as I reported earlier on this blog.

As one of my sons informed me, “If you can get something positive accomplished in spite of your grief, then you’re doing OK,”

There you have it … but I am happy to declare myself to be far better than OK. Kathy Anne would insist on it.

legal news, medical news

Getting ready for a burning

I have concluded that the only way I should bid farewell to the most horrible year of my life is to light a fire.

The idea comes, in fact, from a friend in Beaumont, Texas. I am going to heed his advice.

I intend to gather up every paper 2023 calendar I have in my Princeton, Texas, home. I then will place them in a fire pit I have in my back yard.

Then I am going to light them on fire. Burn them into ashes and embers. I want zero evidence of their presence in my home.

The year 2023 will be known in my house as the Year of the Broken Heart. It shattered into a million pieces on Feb. 3 when my dear bride, Kathy Anne, passed away from the savage effects of glioblastoma, an aggressive brain cancer.

It took some time to find my way out of the darkness, but I am essentially free of that pain. Most of the time. It still hurts on occasion, such as yesterday when I got weepy with my son talking about his Mom.

Then came the loss of Toby the Puppy on Dec. 1. He suffered cancer in various organs. He got too weak to continue the chemotherapy treatments. He had become a valued companion and buddy. We grieved together. My sons and I let him go and my heart broke all over again.

So … I now await the new year. 2024 will be a year of continuing recovery, but the journey is a lot brighter than when it began earlier in this most miserable year of my life.

And to my friend, Dan, who prompted me with this notion I offer a heartfelt thank you.

Fire in the hole!

local news

Blog keeps me active

The most prideful thing about writing this blog rests in a single statistic: the consecutive days I post something that is distributed into cyberspace … and beyond.

As this item is posted, it will mark the 783rd consecutive day in which I have had something to say about anything in this good ol’ world of ours.

The blog, though, has another benefit that I cannot measure with mere statistics.

It keeps my brain functioning. That’s an important matter to consider, given that my dear mother passed away at the age of 61 from complications related to Alzheimer’s disease. I have read that there is a certain hereditary aspect to this killer disease, so the longer I can keep my brain active, functioning and alert to the news of the day the better, I figure, are my chances of hanging on for a good while longer.

I soon will turn 74, which means I will have outlived my parents by a good bit; Dad died in a boat wreck at the age of 59.

My consecutive-day streak never has been in danger. I can find something to write about any day of the week. The only change one can see in this blog is the number of entries I have been posting each day in recent months. They have dwindled partly because I have had a bit of trouble focusing on the day’s news in the wake of the passing of the first true love of my life, my dear bride Kathy Anne.

Glioblastoma — an aggressive form of brain cancer — struck my bride with sudden savagery in late 2022. She received her diagnosis on Dec. 26, 2022, and was gone the evening of Feb. 3, 2023. The resulting journey I have undertaken since that terrible moment has restricted my blog activity.

The blog, though, in many ways has been a life-saver for me. It has enabled me to share portions of my journey with you. The love and support I have received along the way have sustained me.

And it has enabled me to keep my streak alive!

The streak will continue for as long as I am able to string sentences together. As will my journey.

local news

Journey nearing its end

My journey through the darkness has found sufficient light for me to declare that I believe it is nearing its end.

Does that mean the destination is near, that I have no more distance to travel before I can declare my life has been (more or less) restored since the passing of the only woman I’ve ever loved with all my heart?

It means only that I can see much more clearly these days, that I can profess openly that I am ready for a relationship if the right one were to present itself. I don’t mean to sound coy or cagey. I only mean to tell you the obvious, which is that my heart is likely to remain permanently damaged and that I am learning the complexities of dealing with the pain.

Kathy Anne’s brief but savage fight with glioblastoma at the beginning of this horrible year will remain with me for the rest of my life on Earth. She had six weeks from her diagnosis to the end. The oncologist who was scheduled to treat her called her form of cancer “the most aggressive” he ever has seen.

That was then. The here and now puts me in a position to start to move on, to commence with the rest of my life. My beautiful bride, Kathy Anne, was 71 when she passed. I am almost 74. She was in good health until, well, she wasn’t. I am in reasonably good health … at this moment. The events of this year have taught me the bitterest of lessons. One of them is that at my age, health can turn from blessing to curse in rapid fashion.

I am not going to sit around, awaiting the outcome I know awaits all of us. I intend to live, just as Kathy Anne insisted I do back when we both were young and had a long life ahead of us.

There will be more tales to tell about my journey as it progresses into the blinding light of the living. I’m not there yet.

But, damn … I believe it’s getting closer!

local news

This sadness eclipses all others

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This is not the outcome I wanted to deliver to those who have been following my lovely bride’s struggle against cancer.

Kathy Anne passed away Friday after a valiant but futile fight against glioblastoma.

I am strengthened by the love and support of my immediate family members who have been with me throughout this fight. We waged this battle together and we will grieve together as well. I also draw strength from the many friends who have reached out and who have extended their love, prayers, good karma and whatever other positive vibes they could send.

We thought she had turned an important corner in the struggle that commenced the day after Christmas. We took her to the emergency room that day at Medical City/McKinney in North Texas. The ER doctor found a mass. The neurosurgeon took some of it out the next night. Kathy went to the intensive care unit, then to rehab for two weeks. She did well in rehab.

We took her home on Jan. 16. She and I made a trip to Amarillo to help our son celebrate a birthday. We returned home on Jan. 24. Then, suddenly on Jan. 26, while waiting for a physical therapist to assist her with home health care, she suffered a grand mal seizure. She returned to the ICU. She did not recover from the seizure or from what was left of the malignancy that had grown.

It is difficult to ascertain much of what transpired. I am struggling to wrap my arms around the profound grief I am feeling while seeking to come to grips with what lies ahead.

We had high hopes for a positive outcome. We thought we could treat this disease, arrest it, control and move on with the rest of our life together.

I have learned a lot in these past few weeks and months about myself and about the power of love. Yes, I cherish the memories we built over more than 50 years of married life. We traveled the globe. We made many dear friends. We brought two boys into this world and they have grown into two of the finest men imaginable.

And yet … we never discovered the manual that tells us how to cope with the crisis that befell my bride. We determined it is something that one learns in real time. You just experience it and hope you make the right decisions when opportunities present themselves.

My love and devotion to my bride were real. It never wavered. It never will. I will miss her forever and beyond.

To those who have followed my effort to chronicle this journey and extended their love, I thank you once more. It has sustained all of us as we have fought this battle alongside the bravest individual God ever created.

johnkanelis_92@hotmail.com

national news, political news

Former VPOTUS offers a teachable moment for all pols

Joe Biden has this way of comforting those who are in pain.

The former vice president demonstrated that remarkable skill the other morning on a live TV show I was watching with my wife.

Vice President Biden was visiting the set of “The View,” the all-woman gabfest that features guests to talk about “hot topics” and other matters. One of the co-hosts happens to be Meghan McCain, daughter of U.S. Sen. John McCain, the 2008 Republican presidential nominee who lost that presidential election to Biden’s running mate, Barack H. Obama.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Sa8G-VR13Q

Sen. McCain is fighting glioblastoma, a virulent form of brain cancer. The senator’s daughter began discussing Biden’s recent book in which he talks about the disease, which claimed his son, Beau, in 2015. Meghan started crying. She apologized to the former VP, who then swapped chairs with “View” co-host Sunny Hostin. He grasped Meghan McCain’s hands, offering her comfort as she told him how she thinks of Beau Biden daily while her father wages the fight of his life against cancer.

Biden told her to never give up hope. He urged her to follow her dad’s example of courage in the face of daunting challenge. He also sought to encourage Meghan by telling her of medical advancements that are being made in the fight to quell the disease Sen. McCain is battling.

What’s more, the vice president sought to tell Meghan McCain that her father is the politician who understands that political foes — such as Biden and McCain were during their time together in the Senate — need not be enemies. He told her his son, Beau, admired Sen. McCain’s “courage,” the type he demonstrated while being held captive during the Vietnam War.

Biden also reminded Meghan that her father was always there for those on the other side of the political divide. He spoke of his longstanding friendship with Sen. McCain.

The lesson here is obvious.

Democrats and Republicans in today’s political environment too often demonize each other. By that I mean they question their patriotism, their love of country, their motivation. Joe Biden sought to tell the daughter of one of his best Senate friends that her dad does not operate that way.

It’s a lesson I wish fervently would somehow sink in on both sides of the gaping chasm that separates the political parties operating in Washington — under the Capitol Hill dome and inside the walls of the White House.