This sadness eclipses all others

This is not the outcome I wanted to deliver to those who have been following my lovely bride’s struggle against cancer.

Kathy Anne passed away Friday after a valiant but futile fight against glioblastoma.

I am strengthened by the love and support of my immediate family members who have been with me throughout this fight. We waged this battle together and we will grieve together as well. I also draw strength from the many friends who have reached out and who have extended their love, prayers, good karma and whatever other positive vibes they could send.

We thought she had turned an important corner in the struggle that commenced the day after Christmas. We took her to the emergency room that day at Medical City/McKinney in North Texas. The ER doctor found a mass. The neurosurgeon took some of it out the next night. Kathy went to the intensive care unit, then to rehab for two weeks. She did well in rehab.

We took her home on Jan. 16. She and I made a trip to Amarillo to help our son celebrate a birthday. We returned home on Jan. 24. Then, suddenly on Jan. 26, while waiting for a physical therapist to assist her with home health care, she suffered a grand mal seizure. She returned to the ICU. She did not recover from the seizure or from what was left of the malignancy that had grown.

It is difficult to ascertain much of what transpired. I am struggling to wrap my arms around the profound grief I am feeling while seeking to come to grips with what lies ahead.

We had high hopes for a positive outcome. We thought we could treat this disease, arrest it, control and move on with the rest of our life together.

I have learned a lot in these past few weeks and months about myself and about the power of love. Yes, I cherish the memories we built over more than 50 years of married life. We traveled the globe. We made many dear friends. We brought two boys into this world and they have grown into two of the finest men imaginable.

And yet … we never discovered the manual that tells us how to cope with the crisis that befell my bride. We determined it is something that one learns in real time. You just experience it and hope you make the right decisions when opportunities present themselves.

My love and devotion to my bride were real. It never wavered. It never will. I will miss her forever and beyond.

To those who have followed my effort to chronicle this journey and extended their love, I thank you once more. It has sustained all of us as we have fought this battle alongside the bravest individual God ever created.

18 thoughts on “This sadness eclipses all others”

  1. The love you and Kathy shared was readily apparent to all who knew you even if only through your writing.

    What a sadness for you and all who loved her and whose love for her will continue in memories.

    Prayers for you and the family.

  2. John, as pastors we are taught about the importance of “just being there” with those who are where you are now. You have touched so many near and far through your writings. Now it is our turn to reach out to you, many of us miles away, and say through our own inadequate words how deeply we care about you and your family. Somehow might you find in the difficult time ahead “Christ’s Shalom.”

  3. I’m very sorry to learn of your loss of your beloved, John. I will life you and your family up in my prayers for comfort and love.

    1. Oh John, I am so very sorry. I was always so touched by the two of you loving each other so much ! It’s just so hard ! I will sure pray for your peace.
      Love to you and your family ! We’d sure love to have you back in Amarillo !
      Debra (McCartt) Montgomery

  4. John I am so sorry for your loss. The love you carried for your bride was so wonderful to read about. Love never dies. Take care.

  5. John,
    Please know we are with you in heart and spirit. We are so sorry. Reagan & Judy Hathcock

  6. What a hard journey. I’m so very sorry. I will always treasure the memories of that couples retreat in Sipapu when Russ and I got to know you and Kathy and how you encouraged us in our marriage. I always loved our early Saturday chats at the grocery store. What a beautiful love story that will continue to influence and encourage others. Sending so much love to you and all who love you, Kathy and your whole family. Love Jill and Russ

  7. Thinking of you John and your family in this time of sorrow and asking God to surround you with His special peace and love.

  8. I’m so very sorry for the loss of your bride, John. The days and weeks ahead will be difficult ones and I pray God brings you and your boys the strength to see yourselves through the grief. You have so many that love you , may you find some strength in that knowledge.

  9. John, I am so sorry to read this news. I know you and Kathy had a wonderful life together and she will be dearly missed by many. Glioblastoma has taken several of my dear friends and am amazed at how much more I hear about this tumor. Hopefully she did not suffer and knew that you and your family had her wrapped in your loving arms. My condolences.

Comments are closed.