CARTHAGE, N.C. — Nearly six months past the worst day of my life and I found myself a little while ago shedding tears over that event.
Tears actually flowed down my cheeks.
I am visiting my cousin in this gorgeous community not far from Raleigh, part of what they call the Research Triangle. We have been chatting about this and that, about triumph and tragedy.
The conversation turned, of course, to Kathy Anne and her brave but brief battle with brain cancer.
I had to collect myself while sharing the sequence of events with my cousin. It was too hard to keep going. She understands completely, as she, too, has undergone much in her life.
It occurred to me as I spoke with her that these bouts of emotion will never go away completely. My cousin gets it. She has told me of the passing of a dear friend of hers who unbeknownst to anyone close to him knew of the condition that eventually took him. Yet he didn’t divulge it … to a single soul.
I intend to keep writing about this journey I’m on, if only to give myself some relief from the pain that still hurts. I also hope to convey a bit of knowledge to others who are going through similar — if not identical — feelings of profound loss.
I find that it hurts far less to write about it than it is to talk about it. That realization came forth to me today as I retold the events leading up to Kathy Anne’s passing to my cousin. Therefore, I will continue to tell my story through this blog.
To those who can glean some benefit from it, I express my appreciation in advance. If you are turned off by it, or are bored, or think of me as being too self-pitying … too bad.
There will be an end to it. Someday.