I continue to mourn the passing of my bride and I figure I will do so for a good while.
However, some bizarre thoughts coarse through my noggin as I seek to find my way toward a new normal life without my beloved Kathy Anne. One of them involves laughter.
I am 73 years of age. We were married for 51 years. That means she was a major part of my life for most of my time on this Earth.
There are moments when I laugh out loud at something I see, or when Toby the Puppy performs one of this pooch tricks, or when I watch someone tell a joke. I told a friend on a social media message that I feel strangely embarrassed when I laugh out loud. It’s weird, man.
There is no way I will wear black in public the way my grandmother did after my grandfather died in January 1950. Yiayia mourned Papou in a formal matter for the rest of her life, which ended on July 4, 1978.
However, I don’t want to feel oddly self-conscious when I chuckle at something. Those who have been through this level of grief perhaps know of what I am mentioning.
Hey, I’ll get through this, too.
After losing my entire family I can relate! I still find myself sad or embarrassed when I catch myself laughing at a joke or having a good time with friends-somehow it is like guilt in that I should not have fun anymore!
Bizarre and slowly feeling like I CAN laugh or have a good time with friends after 4 years of unrelenting grief.
Still the most painful place I have ever been in daily as can never ever be with my loved ones again
on this earth.
It does very slowly get better and can occasionally pass a single day without missing my family beyond my wildest comprehension.
Time does heal but very slowly.
My heart and prayers are with you and your family at this time.
Laughter heals better than tears.😢
You have it exactly right, Marilou.