It’s time for a rant. Here goes.

It involves telephone technology and the search for a living, breathing human being to help you resolve a problem you have with a credit card bill.

I received a notice in the mail yesterday from a department store with which we have a credit card. The department store didn’t receive an electronic payment we had sent in late January. I was mortified, I’m telling you!

After checking our personal records, I discovered we had sent the payment, but that the department store never got it. I then discovered an error I had made in logging in the account number. My bad.

So, with that information in hand, I telephoned the 24-hour “customer service” line to find out what happened to the money that was sent electronically from my checking account to the department store’s payment center.

I got a series of electronic prompts. None of the prompts would allow me to speak to a human being. I kept getting transferred to more robotic voices asking me the nature of my call. Bill payment? No. Lost credit card? No again. Change of billing address? Heck no! History of recent transactions? No, dammit! History of transactions since last bill? Bleep no!

All I want is to speak to a human being.

I pressed “0,” but the robot said “she” couldn’t understand my response.

I said “I want to speak to an operator.” Again, no can do.

Finally, after about 15 minutes of this foolishness, I got a prompt that I recognized as something that might allow me to speak to someone.

“All agents are assisting other customers. We’ll be with you in a moment,” came the response.

I waited another 15 minutes.

Then a human being answered. “May I help you?” I got my question answered, although not entirely to my satisfaction.

My advice to anyone else in a similar pickle: Unless you have lots of time on your hands and aren’t upset at issue you are trying to resolve … don’t bother calling. It just boosts your blood pressure.

I feel better now.