The older I get, the more activities I add to the list of things I’ll never do.

I read recently about the California woman who came to Amarillo and choked down three 72-ounce steaks — plus the baked spuds, shrimp cocktail, rolls and salad — at the Big Texan Steak Ranch.

By my calculation, that’s about 15 or so pounds of food.

http://news.yahoo.com/california-woman-eats-3-steak-dinners-20-minutes-183307496.html

I will add to the list of never-will-do things.

There once was a time in my life when I considered myself something of a thrill-seeker. There was little I wouldn’t try. Did I do all those things? No. The opportunities haven’t presented themselves over the span of time.

I haven’t jumped out of an airplane, or bungee-jumped off some platform or cliff, hunted big game in Africa.

On my 60th birthday, I did go zip-lining through the forests of St. Lucia with my wife and sons. So there. I’m not a total wimp.

I once, though, actually thought I might try to eat a 72-ounce steak — but only one — in the span of an hour. Twenty years ago, when we moved to Amarillo, I became aware of the Big Texan and its promotional gimmick of giving away the “free steak” if you could eat it within a certain span of time.

I’m a carnivore. I love steak. Just not that much of it. All at once.

Molly Schuyler chowed down three of ’em in about 20 minutes. She beat her own Big Texan record in devouring the first of her steaks in four minutes.

We’ve been to the Big Texan many times over the years and watched many folks try to consume the Big One in less than an hour. We’ve seen folks puke into the waste basket sitting next to them. One evening, we watched them carry a young man out of the eating area, toward the restroom, where I presume he got really sick.

Does that appeal to this old man? Not in the least.

Maybe in an earlier life. Maybe.

You can add this to the growing list of things I’ll never do.