Tag Archives: Panhandle of Texas

How am I supposed to feel?

AMARILLO, Texas — Allow me this bit of candor, which is my admission that I do not know how I am supposed to feel upon returning to a city my wife and I called home for 23 years.

We moved to the Metroplex in early 2019 to be near our granddaughter, but my sons and I are gathered here to say goodbye to my dear bride, Kathy Anne, who passed away barely three weeks ago after a brief, but fierce battle with brain cancer.

Our granddaughter and our daughter-in-law have joined us for what we will call a “celebration of life” on Saturday that Kathy Anne led. We will be among many friends. They will offer their love for her they will remember her as a joyful servant to her Christian faith.

I find myself feeling wistful at times, wishing it were different, but knowing the brutal truth about why we have come back here.

Yes, my journey continues through this dark passage we call grief. I know there will be light. When I will see it remains an open question for my family and me. We miss her terribly. Our celebration will not be free of tears.

Joe Biden himself — a man who has experienced the painful loss of two children and a spouse — has said it well many times … that the tears we shed today will give way to a smile when we remember the loved one we have lost.

I am prepared to wait for as long as it takes for that moment to arrive. Right now? I am just preparing for what likely will be a day filled with as much pain as joy.

johnkanelis_92@hotmail.com