Moving more deeply into 21st century

I am proud to announce that as of today I have taken yet another baby step farther into the 21st century.

My wife and I purchased a hybrid automobile, one of those vehicles that runs on electricity and gasoline. We intend to get incredible fuel mileage from this little 2010 Toyota Prius. We’ll need to save our pennies, given that our beastly 3/4-ton Dodge Ram pickup — which we have nicknamed Big Jake — will be consuming plenty of fuel as we haul our fifth wheel travel vehicle hither and yon.

But that’s not the best part of my 21st-century journey. Oh, no. The cool thing I did today was get my cell phone programmed into this little buggy so that I can answer the damn thing while I’m driving my car.

It’s pretty simple. Phone rings, I hit the little button on the steering wheel with the picture of the phone receiver off the phone; then I talk. When the conversation is over, I hit the button below the first one and hang up; that button has a picture of a phone with the receiver sitting on it. No sweat, no strain.

Plus, I won’t be breaking the law if I try to fumble for my cell phone while driving the car. You see, Amarillo joined other cities in banning the use of hand held cell phones and other telecommunications gadgets while you’re driving a motor vehicle. I don’t know precisely how the Amarillo Police Department is enforcing this new rule, as I haven’t seen a cop pull a motorist over who’s been gabbing or texting while driving.

Whatever. No one will catch me breaking the law.

I’m proud of myself for continuing this journey into contemporary society. If they install technology, though, that allows drivers to text while driving, I’m afraid my head will explode.