Tag Archives: Christmas sleigh

See? NORAD is still a viable agency

To those who think the end of the Cold War and the demise of the Soviet Union rendered the North American Air Defense Command irrelevant … I’ve got a flash for you.

It’s tracking Santa Claus as I write these words.

The time is about 10:15 p.m. Central Standard Time and Santa is somewhere en route to wherever he intends to go. NORAD is on him.

A Facebook friend noted — incorrectly, I must stipulate — that the now-infamous National Security Agency is tracking. However, a FB friend of his set him straight, that it’s NORAD doing the tracking. My friend’s watchdog said the NSA is checking off Santa’s “naughty list.”

The NORAD tracking is an annual rite of Christmas. The agency puts out “intelligence reports” on Santa’s flight plan from the North Pole. These are highly declassified, as NORAD tends to give up Santa’s location at almost any given moment.

He gets to his destination — wherever it is — right on time every Christmas. That makes it one of humankind’s most enduring mysteries. How does the Jolly Old Man do it?

Bigfoot? The Loch Ness monster? Area 51? Who shot JR? Forget about them.

Santa’s on-time record is spotless. He might not grant every single child on Earth his or her Christmas wish, but he cannot be faulted for trying.

And NORAD is on his tail every mile of his journey.

I’m glad these folks are still on the job.