Welcome back to the political arena, Mark Sanford. The U.S. House of Representatives needs more entertaining members such as you.
A part of me wants you to win the House seat. Maybe your nutty behavior will take our minds off some of the depressing seriousness that emanates too often from the House.
Will South Carolinians forgive your 2009 disappearing act, when your staff said you were hiking in the Appalachians while you in fact were in Argentina frolicking with your mistress? If they’re anything like Texans, they probably will. South Carolina is as reliably Republican as the Lone Star State. Sure, you suffered terrible damage because of this event. But at least your ex-wife, Jenny, emerged from that tawdry episode with an improved public image.
But here’s my favorite part of your public service I hope you bring back if you’re elected: I hope you tote that cot back to your DC office and sleep on it at night. When you were in the House in those days, you made quite a show of sleeping on the cot. You said you wanted to connect with ordinary folks back home. You went home every weekend to shake hands, listen to constituents, maybe kiss a few babies and scarf down some bad food at political events.
That office-sleepover stunt got me thinking. What kind of “real American” does that? Who sleeps at the office and then scurries home on weekends to provide some kind of phony visual demonstration?
At the time, Mr. Sanford, I inquired about my congressman, a fellow conservative such yourself. Mac Thornberry of Clarendon actually lives like a normal American. He moved his wife and then-two young children to DC when he got elected. They lived as a family. Yes, he still jets back to the Panhandle fairly regularly to visit with the home folks.
Well, whatever. I’m looking forward to watching you from a distance. What with social media and prying eyes and ears everywhere, there’ll be no place for you to hide.
Good luck surviving the scrutiny.