People have told me this would happen. It did. Today.

I went to the grocery store to purchase a few items. I had a coupon I intended to redeem for one of the items I purchased.

The cashier began ringing up my groceries. Then we had a conversation that went something like this:

Me: I have a coupon I would like to redeem.

Cashier: Thank you, sir. Oh, wait a minute. This coupon is expired.

Me: What do you mean? It says it expires on the Fourth of October. Today is the Third.

Cashier: No, sir. It’s the Fifth. The coupon expired yesterday.

Me: Huh? Are you sure?

Cashier: Yes. It’s the Fifth.

There you have it. I lost track of the day. I didn’t know what day it was. Oh sure, I knew in the moment that today is Saturday. I just didn’t know the day of the month.

The young lady who rang up my groceries was nice enough to apologize. “I’m very sorry, sir,” she said. “Hey, no worries,” I told her. “I’m the dunderhead, not you.”

So it goes. My retired friends told me they lose track of the days of the week as well. I generally have laughed it off. It’ll never happen. Not to me. I’ve still got enough of my marbles to know what day of the week it is. 

Hah! As of today, I no longer am certain of it. However, my life as a retired American is still quite wonderful.