There’s a lot of things I don’t understand, but that long list just added one more item.

A report in the paper today said that Amarillo lawyer David Duncan, who’s in a heap of trouble with the law, is facing a charge of assault with a deadly weapon. He allegedly used the “weapon” during an altercation in August 2008 at PetSmart, on Soncy Road in west Amarillo.

And just what is the “deadly weapon” he employed? The concrete floor at the store, according to Randall County prosecutors. Huh? What the … ?

Randall County DA James Farren wants to revoke Duncan’s probation — Duncan already has pleaded guilty to injuring a man in a fight at the store — alleging that he violated the terms of his sentence. So, he’s in effect facing the same charge all over again if the court revokes the probated sentence.

I won’t debate the merits of the revocation request. But I’m having trouble grasping the notion that a floor is a “deadly weapon.” The law is a complicated matter, which is why it’s best left to “experts” to sort out.

Still, it all kind of reminds me of the punchline (no pun intended) that declares that someone struck another person’s fist with his face.

As Denzel Washington said in the film “Philadelphia” — in which he portrayed a lawyer — someone’s going to have explain that one to me like I’m a 5-year-old.