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Lame answer to lame duck matter

Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin has been taking some well-earned broadsides over her idiotic decision to quit her office.

She said she didn’t want to become a “lame duck.”

OK. The 22nd Amendment to the U.S. Constitution confers lame-duck status on presidents the moment they’re re-elected to a second term. Did she consider President Bush a mere “lame duck” when voters re-elected him in 2004? I think not.

Palin’s excuse was that she didn’t want to fall into the trap that grabs lame ducks. She could have said she’d just stay on do her job. But no-o-o-o. She branded herself a quitter.

Many of us in the Lower 48 are still trying to figure out what went through her mind when she decided to give up on this office, causing all the chatter among political junkies. She might not yet know herself. Perhaps she’ll make it up as she goes along.

I am reminded, however, of another approach to this lame duck matter. A one-time lawman back in Oregon was appointed in 1982 to a sheriff’s position after the incumbent got himself into an ethical bind. The sheriff quit, forcing the county commissioners to appoint the new top man to serve out the remainder of the former sheriff’s term. The new guy, Bill Brooks, then announced immediately he would run for election in Clackamas County, Ore. His reason? “If I don’t, then I become a lame duck and people will try to bulldoze things past me,” he told me, “and I don’t bulldoze worth a (bleep).”

Signs, signs everywhere

One of my favorite driving spots in Amarillo is eastbound on I-40, just as you come over the rise and head toward the Western Street exit.

You’re greeted by a swarm of signs. They’re free-standing signs. Billboards. Banners. Even a few blinkers.

The city has placed a 90-day moratorium on new signs until it figures out whether to impose a new sign ordinance on businesses. A sign panel has been appointed to study the issue. It’s makeup is an interesting one. It includes a lawyer, Roger Cox, who has railed publicly against visual blight; Dusty McGuire, founder of Keep Amarillo Beautiful; local clothier George Raffkind; CPA Don Marsh; and Gary Cox, owner of a sign company. I don’t know Gary Cox and Marsh, but I do know the other three.

It’s a varied panel, with wide-ranging interests and, perhaps, biases.

They should ask themselves at least this key question: Would allowing more signs along major thoroughfares, such as the aforementioned I-40 corridor, help or hinder businesses that already have signs up, not to mention business owners who want to clutter up our line of sight even more?

I keep wondering every time I make that drive: Who’s able to read even a fraction of these messages when you’re blazing by at 60 mph?

Don’t forget the Panhandle

Tom Schieffer came by this past week to carry his own torch for the Democratic nomination for Texas governor.

He’s an earnest enough fellow. I’d never met him. Schieffer served in the Legislature in the 1970s, before my arrival in Texas a quarter century ago. He also served as U.S. ambassador to two key allies — Australia and Japan.

But he made a pledge I’ve heard countless times during my 14-plus years in the Panhandle: I won’t forget about you if I get my party’s nomination.

OK, whatever.

Let’s be honest here. Candidates for these big-ticket offices go to where their time will be worth the investment. That would be the Metroplex, Houston, Austin and San Antonio. Everyone in the burgs knows it, too. What’s more, because this region votes so heavily Republican, the Democratic candidates as a rule don’t care about us, and the Republicans simply take us for granted. Our fellow Texans in the Valley, which votes as heavily Democratic as this area votes Republican, face a similar sense of abandonment.

Schieffer said he’d be different. “The Panhandle is a vital part of the state, with its agriculture and natural resources,” he said.

I mean no disrespect to Tom Schieffer, but if I had a nickel for every candidate’s declaration that he or she will return to the Panhandle …

Palin earns new title: quitter

“I love my job and I love Alaska,” Sarah Palin said.

And then the rookie governor quit.

The chatterers are wondering whether Palin’s sudden walk-away from her job portends a run for higher office in 2012.

Her previous incoherence has been eclipsed by what she said this past week. She didn’t want to become a “lame duck governor” and fall into the trap that ensnares lame ducks: you know, junkets and stuff. Well, who said she had to fall into that routine? She could have, well, just stayed on the job and governed.

None of this makes any sense.

Palin talked a bit the other day about the intense criticism she received since joining John McCain on the Republican presidential ticket in 2008. I’ll concede some of it has been unfair. But the governor epitomizes delusional qualities if she believes it would get easier for her if she is considering a run for the presidency.

She ought to pick up the phone and ask the secretary of state, Hillary Clinton: Madame Secretary, tell me about your eight years as first lady and your eight years as a senator from New York. Did your critics ever go soft on you — at any point? Do you think it was unfair? How did your daughter, Chelsea, like being pilloried when she was a good bit younger than my own teenager daughter?

I hope she makes that call — and I hope Secretary Clinton answers it.

It’s not just the sex, governor

South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford’s affair with an Argentine woman continues to make waves in U.S. political circles.

But it’s not the sex that matters.

Sanford’s major mistake was to abandon his post as governor. He vaporized, lied to his staff, which then misled the public unintentionally as to his whereabouts, only to be revealed as being in Argentina.

The Republican governor’s sexual misdeed is bad enough. He has proclaimed himself to be a born-again Christian. He excoriated a one-time president, Bill Clinton, for his own transgressions and then lying about it. Sanford has held himself up as a paragon of virtue; he now stands before us as a major-league hypocrite.

But the real problem with Sanford now is that he has to explain how he can continue to govern when he has demonstrated an ability to walk away from his job — and then reportedly spend public money to help pay for his romantic misadventure.

If it were me, I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror, let alone ask my constituents to keep paying my salary.

Al Sharpton, frontrunner

I’m scratching my head.

Watching this incessant, non-stop coverage of the death of Michael Jackson, I’m trying to remember when I’ve ever seen Al Sharpton associated with Michael Jackson in any way when the King of Pop was alive. For the life of me, I cannot recall a single time when Sharpton and Jackson were photographed together, or even mentioned in the same sentence.

Yet there he is on TV screens all over the world: Sharpton speaking to the crowd at the Apollo Theater, Sharpton extolling the contributions Jackson made to American pop culture, Sharpton expressing his deep sympathy to the Jackson family over their loss.

I have asked some folks if I’ve missed something, that Jackson and Sharpton were somehow best friends, but no one knew about it. They cannot remember it, either. Before he became known as a “civil rights activist,” Sharpton’s main claim to notoriety was his role in the trumped-up brutality charges brought by a young black woman against some white police officers, who eventually sued Sharpton and others for slander — and won.

It’s been said of many politicians that the most dangerous place in the world is any space between them and a television camera.

Al Sharpton wins that honor — hands down!

You want pictures? I have pictures!

I’ve been traveling some in the past few weeks. We returned home on June 14 and now I have some photographic proof of where I spent five weeks.

Our Group Study Exchange team departed West Texas on May 9. The exchange, sponsored by the Rotary International Foundation, ended on June 7. I stayed over a few extra days to vacation with my wife.

But check out the link that accompanies this blog post and see a little of the Holy Land.

I was told repeatedly that this would be the “trip of a lifetime.” It turned out to be every bit of that — and more.

To see all photos, click here.

Why did the goose cross the road?

The world has no shortage of Canada geese.

A recent letter to the editor complained about how Amarillo Animal Control officers sought to round up the feathered visitors near Duniven Lake, between Olsen Boulevard and Interstate 40. Seems the geese are congregating there lately.

A couple of days later, I was driving east on Olsen when, lo and behold, I had to stop to allow about three dozen geese to cross the street. Among the birds were several goslings not yet big enough to fly.

I was heartened to see other motorists yielding to the birds as well.

But the sight of the birds did bring to mind the complaint that the letter writer made, which basically was: What were the Animal Control officers thinking? You can’t round up these birds, which aren’t domesticated.

Frankly, I don’t mind slowing — or even stopping — for these birds. It gives me a nice diversion from the hustle and bustle of getting somewhere.

Turn out the lights …

Do you know how to build relationships within your neighborhood?

Turn out the lights.

How do I know this? My house was one of several hundred in southwest Amarillo that went dark for several hours Thursday evening while crews worked to restore electrical service. An automobile wreck cut service in much of that part of the city.

How did many of us on our street spend the time when our homes were dark? We went outside. Some of us worked in our yard. At the west end of our street, perhaps three or four households all had poured onto their front yards, with the young children playing with each other as dusk settled in over the Panhandle.

Air conditioning and rear-entry driveways have helped damaged neighborhood fellowship. The AC keeps us cool during these hot summer days and early evenings. The rear-entry drives mean we don’t have much interaction with neighbors when we get home after work.

So, when someone blows out the power for any length of time, go outside and enjoy your neighbors’ company. At least we will all have something to talk about.

Jackson had an impact, all right

I’m steeling myself for the next few days of non-stop tributes to Michael Jackson, and the impact he had on American pop culture.

Nothing will persuade me of that fact more than my memory of an extraordinary event in a community where I once lived. That event tells me all I need to know about what Jackson meant to American youth.

It was the summer of 1984. I had just moved to Texas, settling into a new job way down yonder in Beaumont. Jackson was at the peak of his popularity. “Thriller” had come out and billions of kids around the world — including my then-10-year-old son — began moonwalking their way across the planet.

The operators of Parkdale Mall — Beaumont’s version of Westgate Mall — had this bright idea: Why not stage a Michael Jackson Impersonator contest? So, they announced plans to invite every Michael Jackson wannabe to the mall to participate in this competition.

The Jackson knock-offs came, all right. Hundreds of them, in fact. Then the mall operators’ worst nightmare began to unfold before their eyes: They didn’t have enough room to accommodate the impersonators and the crowd of spectators, numbering in the thousands, that had come to witness this event.

We can’t go on, the mall gurus said. So, they announced to the huge crowd that had packed the common area inside Parkdale Mall, that the event would have to be postponed until they could locate a larger venue.

All hell broke loose! The crowd rioted. The police were called in to quell the disturbance. The Beaumont Police Department arrested several rioters.

And this was because of the crowd would be deprived of the chance to watch a bunch of Michael Jackson pretenders strut and kick and dance their way across a stage.

I shudder to think what would have happened if Jackson himself had canceled a concert in Beaumont. They would have burned the place to the ground.

Did this guy have an impact on pop culture? You bet.

Oh, and my son — who turns 35 in a couple of weeks — can still moonwalk with the best of ’em.